Sad

I am sad today. I actually I began it pretty mad and angry. Something was taken that I hoped would not be taken, but I thought probably would be. I was still shocked to wake up this morning and find it gone. I am willing to bet that whomever took it would call themselves a Christian and felt like they were doing the right thing. I am sure that they thought taking what they did would keep others from seeing it and teach me a lesson about what I should be doing. I was frustrated with the many Christian I have talked with recently that hear what they want, dismiss you because you think differently, and even stop talking to you because of it. I was angry and thought to myself, "how dare someone take something because of their own fear." "I am so tired of losing friends and people just because I think differently." "Do I really want to be a Christian if this is Christianity?" Then I went for a run and thought long and hard about how I should respond. Should I replace what was taken? Should I leave a note for the person who took it expressing my anger? Should I replace it with something even bigger? Should I quit going to church? The more I thought about it, the more angry I became. Then it hit me. Replacing it or doing anything else would be me acting just like the person who thought they were doing something to further the cause of Christ with their act of "evil."
It was then that I became really sad. I began thinking about how people claim to follow Christ, yet the ideas that Christ taught and lived they never really grasp or live out. Then I thought about how I have not been doing this lately either. Then I found this verse:

"Why are you so polite with me, always saying 'Yes, sir,' and 'That's right, sir,' but never doing a thing I tell you? These words I speak to you are not mere additions to your life, homeowner improvements to your standard of living. They are foundation words, words to build a life on."

Luke 6:46-47

I need to get back to just living the way of Jesus. It is a lifestyle that too many of us neglect to live. It is not a set of principles that I get to apply only when it seems right for me to do so, but it is a way of living, a lifestyle that takes great patience, learning and transformation through percieved suffering, and a lifestyle that brings long and lasting changes only as the way is lived. We too often believe that their is some kind of "quick fix." Somehow if we can just have people understand, follow the law, create a law for them to follow, preach and convince, then somehow God will be honored. If God would just answer this prayer in this way all my problems would go away. We really do not want to make a lifestyle out of living the way of Jesus. While trying to do this we actually force God out of the process, fill ourselves with anger, hate, evil, frustration, and hopelessness. We think that somehow we have to control all the outcomes and do things like steal from others to control the outcomes.

I could shoot back with some kind of anger. I could replace it with something bigger and better. I could find the person and let them know how I feel. All this would be an attempt to repay evil with evil. I am choosing to do good. I am choosing this day to get back to just allowing. To get back to the basics of loving people, accepting people, finding the beauty every and in everyone. I can only say that I follow the way of Jesus and then really follow the way of Jesus. Today I will get back to following Jesus' way and live a lifestyle that changes me and others by doing my best to build my life on these words:

"Here's another old saying that deserves a second look: 'Eye for eye, tooth for tooth.' Is that going to get us anywhere? Here's what I propose: 'Don't hit back at all.' If someone strikes you, stand there and take it. If someone drags you into court and sues for the shirt off your back, giftwrap your best coat and make a present of it. And if someone takes unfair advantage of you, use the occasion to practice the servant life. No more tit-for-tat stuff. Live generously.
"You're familiar with the old written law, 'Love your friend,' and its unwritten companion, 'Hate your enemy.' I'm challenging that. I'm telling you to love your enemies. Let them bring out the best in you, not the worst. When someone gives you a hard time, respond with the energies of prayer, for then you are working out of your true selves, your God-created selves. This is what God does. He gives his best—the sun to warm and the rain to nourish—to everyone, regardless: the good and bad, the nice and nasty. If all you do is love the lovable, do you expect a bonus? Anybody can do that. If you simply say hello to those who greet you, do you expect a medal? Any run-of-the-mill sinner does that."

Matthew 5:38-47

Namaste'