Energy

I must write this and confess that I have not been placing my energy where it should go for the last several weeks and months. It has worn me out. It has made me short tempered. It has made me lose focus on what is most important. It has left me emotionally unavailable to myself, to my wife, my child, and my God. I have been obessed with things I cannot control, cannot change, and would never do anything to better myself. I have stopped taking care of myself through the most important things and this means that I have stopped taking care of those most important to me. It will stop and and need to take my energy and use it for something that is much more useful and productive. I will return to my first love. I will return to my mindfulness, prayer and meditation. I will return to thinking about only the good and lovely things. I will returned to allowing myself to be worked into God's most excellent harmonies. I need to get back to my practice of the greatest commandments.

Jesus said, "The first in importance is, 'Listen, Israel: The Lord your God is one; so love the Lord God with all your passion and prayer and intelligence and energy.' And here is the second: 'Love others as well as you love yourself.' There is no other commandment that ranks with these."
The religion scholar said, "A wonderful answer, Teacher! So lucid and accurate—that God is one and there is no other. And loving him with all passion and intelligence and energy, and loving others as well as you love yourself. Why, that's better than all offerings and sacrifices put together!"

Mark 12:29-33

My passion, my prayer, my intelligence and my energy has not been with God. I must apoligize to all who read this, but first to those most important to me. I am disappointed, but I will awake with new resolve each day to remember that I have a choice to place my energy somewhere. I will choose to place it with God daily. I will do this by daily prayer and meditation, returning to my times of writing, exercise, and challenging myself on my thoughts and actions being applications of the truth of my Creator. Looking for the good and beauty in everything and everyone, and to stop finding places that make it easy to be angry, negative, and lose my energy. To be kind to all I encounter and to allow God to take me to the places and bring the things to me that God has planned already. I will trust my Creator and enjoy my life rather then be frustrated by the things that should not have part of my energy. I will use what I have been given and stop giving it away to what does not matter.

Namaste'