Forgiveness

This is a very difficult subject for most all of us. However, I believe that to live in connection to God and to have the mind of Christ we must practice forgiveness. There are three things that we must do in order to completely practice forgiveness. First we must not blame. When we are unable to forgive someone who we percieve as having wronged us we need to look at our decision to blame them for our unhappiness. The idea that we must assign responsibility to someone else for our life circumstances is the product of an attitude of blame. We must be completely honest with ourselves and take total responsibility for everything that we are in our life right now to rid ourselves of blame. I think Jesus said it like this:

Don't pick on people, jump on their failures, criticize their faults— unless, of course, you want the same treatment. That critical spirit has a way of boomeranging. It's easy to see a smudge on your neighbor's face and be oblivious to the ugly sneer on your own. Do you have the nerve to say, 'Let me wash your face for you,' when your own face is distorted by contempt? It's this whole traveling road-show mentality all over again, playing a holier-than-thou part instead of just living your part. Wipe that ugly sneer off your own face, and you might be fit to offer a washcloth to your neighbor. Matthew 7:1-3

The second thing that we need to do is rid ourselves of revenge. We live in a world that endorses anger and revenge. Revenge is the acting out of the thoughts of blame. Blame is how we think, revenge is how we act. Blaming fuels our anger and revenge is the explosion of that fuel. We need to be gentle with ourselves and with others who may decide to not be so gentle. Scripture says it like this:

A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. Proverbs 15:1

Make a clean break with all cutting, backbiting, profane talk. Be gentle with one another, sensitive. Forgive one another as quickly and thoroughly as God in Christ forgave you.

Ephesians 4:31-32

Finally, we must reduce our judgements as much as we can. Judgement means to view the world as YOU are, rather than how it really is. This may be impossible to avoid completely, because almost every thought has a judgement attached. For instance, even if I say "It is a beautiful day," that is my thought about the day. However, we can reduce our negative judgements. We must remember that when we judge someone or some event in our lives, we do not alter anyone or anything. Just because I do not like someone does not mean that they will change. When I judge I do not define another person, I just define myself. Our judgements just describe our likes and dislikes. Again Jesus tells us:

I tell you, love your enemies. Help and give without expecting a return. You'll never—I promise—regret it. Live out this God-created identity the way our Father lives toward us, generously and graciously, even when we're at our worst. Our Father is kind; you be kind.
"Don't pick on people, jump on their failures, criticize their faults— unless, of course, you want the same treatment. Don't condemn those who are down; that hardness can boomerang. Be easy on people; you'll find life a lot easier. Give away your life; you'll find life given back, but not merely given back—given back with bonus and blessing. Giving, not getting, is the way. Generosity begets generosity." Luke 6:36-38

When we can do these three forgiveness can happen. The ideal is this for me. Think about Jesus hanging on that cross - spit on, made fun of, his clothes being gambled over, given vinegar to drink, a spear thrust in his side - and what does he say?

"Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing." Luke 23:34

Jesus knew the soldiers were just following orders, the mob was being a mob, and people really did not understand what was going on here. That is how we need to see others in our life. Don't blame, seek revenge or judge them for their actions. Remember that they are just doing their best and really do not know how or what they are doing is hurting others. We want this variance from others - are we willing to give it? Jesus had every right to be angry, blame, judge and seek revenge. However, God picked kindness and gave his life away. Pick something different today, give your life away and see if you don't have a changed life when forgiveness enters your spirit.

Namaste'