Indulgence

Grace - A favor rendered by one who need not do so; indulgence. I love that word - indulgence. What a beautiful picture of what grace is - indulgence. God's liberal or lenient treatment, God's granting of a favor or privilege. What kind of love this is! How often I turn from it and think that I can somehow do these things on my own, I can earn my own indulgence and grace. Somehow I think that I can earn my own peace of mind through the things that I am able to accumulate, people I am able to make happy, and by making my life run "smoothly." However, I am so far from doing this, so far that I actually reject and push away from God's grace because my ego wants to say that "I did it." This is when I find myself in times of depression, sadness, frustration, anger, dissapointment, and anxiety. I do not find peace, grace or indulgence - I find quite the opposite. Oh how hard it is to put the ego to death and leave it there! When I get in this place I have to go back and be silent before God. I have to set aside my ego again and remember what this is all really about. It is then that I sense grace again! Jesus told us

"Here's what I want you to do: Find a quiet, secluded place so you won't be tempted to role-play before God. Just be there as simply and honestly as you can manage. The focus will shift from you to God, and you will begin to sense his grace." Matthew 6:6

I am so tempted to role play my part in front of God and others. I easy begin to think that I am what others think about me, I am what I do for a living, or I am what I have. This is why it is so important to spend a daily time being quiet before God, not because it is a requirement to be met, a chore. I do it because it is a practice that reminds me of who I really am, how I really function best in this life, and who's spirit is really in control of the universe. Begin today and find sometime to spend with God in silence. Sense God's grace and indulgence again. Find real peace, joy and happiness by remembering who and whose you are.

Namaste'