True Communication

So what is true communication? What makes communication real and meaningful to ourselves and those around us? I think that Jesus gave a great example of what true communication looks like and how powerful it is:

Jesus bent down and wrote with his finger in the dirt. They kept at him, badgering him. He straightened up and said, "The sinless one among you, go first: Throw the stone." Bending down again, he wrote some more in the dirt.

John 8:6-8

Here Jesus is "badgered" by people wanting an answer. What does Jesus do? He just listens. He practices deep listening. He bends down and draws in the dirt. He just listens to the scene around him, paying attention to what everyone is saying, but not responding. This is deep listening - hearing without judgement or wanting to respond or making sure our thoughts and feelings are heard. We all too often to this - desperately want to be heard without deeply listening to what others are saying to us. We do not truly get to know and understand what the world looks and feels like to someone else. This comes from our lack of truly being able to hear and understand ourselves, to deeply listen to ourselves.

Here Jesus also practices loving speech. He does not blow people out of the water, but lovingly listens and then ask them to throw a stone if they have not committed a sin. At the end of the passage, Jesus says "where are they? Does no one condemn you?" Neither do I," said Jesus. "Go on your way. From now on, don't sin." Jesus was loving speaking to her and others. He displays his loving speech after deeply listening to the situation and not just reacting, but taking his time and speaking lovingly to all involved. Even through all the questions, the pressure, and the attempt to trap him, Jesus is able to have true communication and resolve this with love.

So today try to have true communication and deeply listen to yourself and others in each situation that you encounter. Take a few deep breaths and listen. Sometimes it may even mean that you have to step away for a few moments or days even to really be able to listen to yourself and others. Then practice loving speech. Let them know you hear them and talk about how you feel. In the world of psychology we call this assertiveness. Let someone you understand what the world looks like to them and talk about how you feel. This is true communication. You listen deeply and use loving speech. You talk directly to those that have hurt you or need to hear from you directly. This is the way of Jesus.

Namaste'