Look Deeply at Self

Why does Jesus say this:

"Here's another old saying that deserves a second look: 'Eye for eye, tooth for tooth.' Is that going to get us anywhere? Here's what I propose: 'Don't hit back at all.' If someone strikes you, stand there and take it. If someone drags you into court and sues for the shirt off your back, giftwrap your best coat and make a present of it. And if someone takes unfair advantage of you, use the occasion to practice the servant life. No more tit-for-tat stuff. Live generously.

Matthew 5:38-40

This is so difficult for us because we all want things to be our way and work the way we think they should. We fail to realize that if someone hurts us the reason we are angry or hurt is not their fault. We need to realize that it is coming from our heart.
We need to look deeply at our hurts and see what they are saying about ourselves. What are we trying to protect? What are we so scared of? Why makes us want to please everyone? Our hurts come out of the most sensitive areas of our lives. Think about it – why is it that someone could say or do something to us and we shake it off like it was nothing, barely giving it any attention? However, there are other times when we “go off” at someone for hurting us. What is the difference? I think it is because it strikes at our ego, at our core. Our hurt speaks something about ourselves, not the other person. It is letting us know that there is a part of our ego that has not been put to death yet, instead of seeing it as a wrong that should not have happened. We need to question ourselves, meditate on our hurts, have compassion within ourselves and understand what we have not let go of in our life that creates this suffering.
This is humbleness. This is understanding that no one can hurt us but ourselves. This is the true meaning of love others as your love yourself. We need to be careful that we do not let boast about our humbleness. We need to be humble and say nothing about it. If we need to let someone know about our humbleness, it is our ego still at work to find some recognition of the self. The person who has to tell others that they are humble, they are not truly humble, they need to be carefully watched. We still try to find some comfort in feeling good and letting others know that we are “good” so that we can gain their praise.
If these steps can be followed then we will not allow ourselves to be upset by what people are saying about us. We begin to understand that they are not talking about us, and that they have to say is not important. It is only important to the extent that it hurts us and God’s work in revealed through them and their relationship as a place within our self to work on. There is no way to please everyone and make every circumstance come out the way would like. This brings real chaos, the attempt to make sure everyone and everything likes us and goes our way. It would be like attempting to make the train go to a different concourse at the airport rather than accepting that this is where this train takes us. It would be like trying to get the flight moved to a closer concourse for our convenience rather than just accepting that we have to walk that far.
People love us and they leave us, we are all quite “fickle.” Do we accept that and learn from the relationship anyway or do we push it to make it what we want it to be? We must learn to love without attachment to the outcome. We must learn to trust that even though this feels like total chaos, underneath there is an organizing intelligence that never leaves us or forsakes us. It is the Infinite God. See God in all the people you encounter – your friends, your family, your ex, your boss, your coworker – They do nothing with the organizing of God to teach us something about ourselves and to push us to letting go and living in complete abandon to life.